. pistolas de juguete

I.

- Good evening
- Hi
- Please, come, sit down.
- Thank you
- So, tell me..
- What?
- I don't know, something..
- Something?
- Well, you know, you know what I am talking about
- I do?
- Come on, it can't be that hard
- It can't?
- Ok, why don't you start up telling me your name
- Why?
- So I can know who you are
- Will you know?
- What do you mean?
- Do you seriously think that if I tell you my name
you'll know who I am?
- No, but at least I can call you that way
- I don't quite undestand
- Why are you making this so hard?



II.
- I could tell you so many words, but they will mean nothing
- But?
- I would just be lying
- Tell me the truth, then..
- What's true?
- I don't know, I'm asking you
- Why should I know?



III.

- Describe me your life
- My life?
- Yes
- I don't have one
- Oh, really?
- At least one I can remember of
- You don't remember anything?
- No
- Why don't you try?
- I just know something
- What is that?
- I HATE IT
- I beg your pardon?
- I hate it, I hate my life, I absolutely hate it. What I do, What I think, what I feel, what I smell, what I touch, what I see, what I drink, what I eat, what I everything, yeah, pretty much what I everything.
- What YOU everything?
- Yeah, and also, what EVERYBODY everything
- I don't understand
- Easy, everybody annoys me.
- Why so?
- I don't know, I just fell sick, sick of my parents, sick of my brother, sick of my cousins, sick of my aunts, my uncles, sick of my family. Sick of my friends, my job, my boss, my school, my teachers, my house, sick and so sick of money, of people, of wanting what I can't have, of having what I don't want, of having what I want but not liking what I've got, but sick, sick entire to death of me. of me, of who I am, of my memories, of what I've gone through..
- Why is that?
- STOP
- Why?
- I SAID STOP
- Please, I want to help
- You can't, me neither
- You can't what?
- I can't go on
- Why?
- I CAN'T!!!



IV.

- When I asked you what your life was, you said you didn't remember
- I know
- Why don't you?
- 'Cause I don't
- Well, you've said a lot
- Oh, trust me, that's nothing..
- Why do you say you don't remember then?
- Because I don't want to REMEMBER
- What happened to you?
- UNTIL the day in which I feel happy, until then, i'll start to remember..
- What are you missing?
- For what?
- To feel that HAPPINESS you are talking about
- I'll come back when I know..

. marioneta con o sin hilos, ya no sé

hace unos minutos, me fumé el cigarro más relajado que me he fumado en mi vida
eso de ver un colibrí, una líbelula, aves, pinos, pasto, florecitas y partículas universales
(al mismo tiempo)
acompañados de una de las canciones más bonitas que existen
me produjo una sensación de _______.
los colores, los olores, los sonidos y sabores..
no sé.
recordé esas palabras que acostumbraba a decir
a escribir, a pensar..
me he dado cuenta que el ser humano ama
el hecho de habitar en un sentimiento llamado: tristeza
aunque no exista razón aparente para estarlo
creo que ya vivo en el
y no sé como salir..
lo peor de todo es que:
nisiquiera sé si quiero hacerlo
mi interés y respeto por la vida de un vagabundo incrementa
y esque es de admirarse
¿en qué momento se pierde el interés por lo material?
y dejas atras el dinero, el trabajo, la estabilidad económica
para vivir en la calle, que tu hogar sea: la calle
que tu única compañía sea la soledad
SIENTO que
talvez no necesite ocurrir algo crucial en tu vida
para dejarlo todo
y eso quisiera, dejarlo todo
vagabundear e ir por el mundo
pidiendo limosna, que al fin y al cabo es a lo que
todos nos dedicamos
talvez no limosna económica
sino limosna sentimental
todos necesitamos de todos
rara vez he conocido a personas que se conocen
y que se quieren
la mayoría estamos destinados al miedo
y es ahí a donde voy a ir a parar
no me quiero morir,
no aún..


(y esque, porque siempre término pensando en la muerte?)